I Voted for Trump and I'll do it AGAIN!!!

Ok I’ll admit it. I voted for Donald Trump. Why? Well, hell, why not? We all know the end is coming. Why not sooner than later? Space monkeys are showing up on Brazil hillsides, in Las Vegas backyards and shopping at the mall in Miami. Let’s just lean in. What it really came down to in the end had nothing to do with my political leanings. Not really. I am a pro pot, pro gay marriage, life long conservative. I like to say that because it causes people to express the same face hillbillies have when they see Bigfoot. People insist those things are incongruent. But in reality it just means I'm a libertarian, but they don't win anything. So when it came down to the election, the first time, it was an easy choice of which variant of crazy pie I wanted my topping on. We had a woman running in Hillary. She managed to muster up all of her husband's legal and ethical issues but none of his charm. And her opponent was a crazy former reality TV star. It was at that point I realized it was like my English teacher from high school versus my crazy buddy Donny. And to make this crystal clear, MY English teacher from high school. Not these new hot blonde English teachers that have come out of the woodwork with the hots for 15 year old boys. That's something fairly new and recent. No I mean MY high school teacher that not me or any of my friends would nail on a dare. If you hooked up with MY high school English teacher you would take crap from everybody at school. Teachers included. And not in a good way. That reminds me of who Hillary was, and still is, for that matter. Crabby, old English teacher. Teacher’s lounge lizard. And she was up against my crazy friend Donny. Donny has some good ideas, but he’s crazy, so he may get you killed. But he’s funny and it's never boring. We may all die, but the news cycle is worth checking out. He could drive women so crazy feminists would wear vaginas on their heads. That’s funny. Especially because some feminists don't have that particular part at all these days. So I voted for crazy over MY English teacher. And he didn't disappoint.

That first crazy administration around it was like when I was 19 and was named store manager for a video store. Holy shit! I hired all my friends and we had a great time. The store went to shit but it was a helluva ride. He did the same thing at the White House. He appointed all these supporters and then realized after the fact that they didn't know what they were doing. Just like my crazy friend from high school would do. Anybody talks crap about Donny he’ll go low. Just like high school. Social media bully the enemies! When I got up at 5:00am there was always news about when he posted 2 and a half hours earlier.

The second election around it was my crazy friend Donny against the old man who yells at kids to stay off his lawn. The guy who at events following a speech looks like my grandfather trying to find the recliner after Thanksgiving dinner. The Democrats had a group of candidates full of diversity, intelligence, competence and equity. And they chose the oldest, whitest motherfucker on the dias. He managed to make Bernie look less white. He made Donny look more orange. And Donny lost. Frankly I was surprised the first morning of the Biden administration, the White House wasn't TP’d. Donny did call on all of his friends to march on the capitol in the lamest attempt at a riot ever. The media proceeded to liken them to terrorists marching on the sacred congressional building. As if fat guys hanging from the building with their beer guts out are terrifying fighters. Wheelchair bound vets wearing a “Don't Tread On Me” blanket for warmth. Even inside the rioters were even walking inside of the stanzas. Nobody in that crowd remembered to bring spray paint to disfigure the building. During the previous summer rioters were burning down the cities. January 6 rioters were signing the Guest Logs. They were getting tours from the guards inside. Don't get me wrong, that helped greatly in tracking people down. When I was watching crime shows in the 80s I remember one key point about criminals on those shows. When committing a crime, the criminals would take out the cameras upon arriving so they couldn't be identified. These days, in both sets of riots, January 6 and the summer of love, the idiots TAKE OUT the cameras so they can live stream themselves doing stupid shit. And then have the gall to wonder how they get caught. I really started to question voting for my crazy buddy Donny when the Chewbacca guy showed up at the riots. Oh the Viking King and I cant be for the same fella. No no no. This is the guy I see walking down the side of the road up in the Rockies when we go on a mountain drive. I never look out of my car, see that person and think “That fella really has it together.” I think I want to go with his political advice. Maybe he can ask bigfoot when they hang out.

And now, today, Donny is back. Like the end of Friday the 13th. Right when you take a breath that it's over and the country is moving in different, new directions. Gotcha! Bam! That's how Biden feels I’m sure. You can't shoot the Terminator too many times. In Biden's head, Trump melts back together, reforms and keeps coming. Well that and thoughts of ice cream and squirrels playing. So I’m voting for Donny again. He’s a senior now, a little more focused, a little more wise to the ways of high school. He’s learned how far a weaponized government can really go from the current regime. The left is terrified. You can tell from the fact that they are paranoid about him getting into power and utilizing the road map they just laid out. So what comes next? The hell if I know. So much TV today I can predict and it makes watching just a slog of one trope after another. This? I have NO idea where this reality show ends up. I have to vote for another season to see how it ends. Trump has followed up The Apprentice with a new reality show that encompasses the passions of the entire country on either side. Court cases, affairs, slimy politicians, election cheating…. It's a masterful bit of showmanship that gets the most insane ratings of all time. Liberal networks choose not to cover it and their overnights tank. So between my crazy friend Donny and Great Grandpa Snowflake….all aboard the crazy train!